All Natural Ground Chicken

All Natural Ground Chicken

March 20, 2017—Fearlessly Archived—Still a fun read; price & availability may have changed. 

All Natural Ground Chicken, A Play in One Act

Who you callin’ chicken? Oh, right, the chicken.

Hey, about that chicken…

Did you know it’s all natural?

What do you mean by all natural, Trader Joe?

At Trader Joe’s, our all natural chicken meets all the government regulations.

Is that it, Joe?

Oh no, there’s more. This chicken has never been treated with antibiotics.


Nope. Never.

So what about this All Natural Ground Chicken?

Oh, it’s delicious. It’s a blend of dark meat, so it’s full of flavor, but still 92% lean.

Ooh, that’s exciting. What can I do with it?

So. Many. Things. Make a burger. Or a meatloaf. Chicken meatballs sound good.

They do. Can you make me some?

Maybe later. After the play.


You should head to Trader Joe’s and pick up a one pound package.

How much does it cost? I’m counting my chickens, you know.

It’s a tremendous value. The best value. It’s $3.49 a pound.

Wow! That is a value. I’m going to get some right now. (Exits)

Wait, we’re not done. We have a dance number…

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